So, I’m 37+ weeks pregnant now.  I can’t have the baby until after next Tuesday as I’m co-facilitating an antenatal course with an antenatal teacher friend over the weekend and on Tuesday evening so can’t really enjoy what I experienced this evening…my first run of contractions

All my births have had no warning signs at all - no nesting, no show, no nothing - except for a week or two of pre-labour contraction runs.  Not painful, and also not in a labour-type pattern.  They come close together and are very different to braxton hicks.  Normally they make me smile and think how exciting it is that it’s the beginning of the end - unfortunately, until I’ve got this weekend out of the way, I can’t stop thinking ‘please don’t be real labour!!!’.  With Flopsy, of course, and also with Mopsy actually, I spent every single little ‘run’ hoping it was ‘it’.  With Cotton-tail I was wise to it and just let them happen and enjoyed knowing that it meant my time would come within the next couple of weeks and that my body was preparing itself.  This time…well, I just can’t wait until next Tuesday when I can start doing the same. 

I’m up at stupid-o’clock (2.15am!!!) because I had a lovely meal out with friends in the evening and, thanks to eating a big meal far too late in the day, I am now unable to sleep for reflux and indigestion.  I need to be upright for an hour or so, but can’t sleep upright at all, so have given in and come downstairs to play on the computer.  Hope there are lots of newly-updated blogs to keep me amused…or maybe something to watch on iplayer…hmm - the possibilities are endless!  Internet surfing time without being disturbed - should be heaven if my eyes didn’t keep wanting to close

Yoga is wonderful…everyone should do it!  I’m now sleeping most of most nights and am not feeling so tired.  I have more patience to deal with the girls calmly and I am losing my temper far, far less often and far, far less dramatically.  Dh and Mum have been so wonderfully supportive and helpful.  I am just so pleased to be able to feel like a more capable mother again, instead of the piece of crap I was feeling like for quite some time.  I really lost all my confidence in myself as a mother, doing things I desperately didn’t want to be doing and hating myself for it.  It’s amazing what a few good nights’ sleep can do!  Our family feels happier and life is much more enjoyable for all of us.