The HV wants to visit on Monday to see Cotton-tail for her 9m check.  It would actually be the first time she’s seen one in her entire life.  The note I got said ‘please ring to confirm’, which I haven’t done so we’ll see if she turns up!  I kind of felt I didn’t want to stir up trouble by actively refusing to see her, but also didn’t want to be saying ‘yes, please do come and pass judgement on my mothering skills!’.  The things I want to decide about before then are:

1. Whether or not to send Flopsy elsewhere:  At the moment, we appear to be totally unknown to our LA.  I’m very happy about that as our LA seem to be rather nosy and attempt to practice outside of their legal requirements.  On the other hand, I don’t want to draw attention to ourselves as actively ‘hiding’ from them.  If Flopsy’s there, I’m wondering if the HV will ask when she’s starting school.  If I answer truthfully, will the HV be sympathetic or will she insist on letting the LA know about her.  Does it matter if the LA know?  I’m lucky in that our children are very bright and I certainly wouldn’t need to do anything to ‘prove’ they’re receiving an education.  The walls of our house are covered in pictures and paintings by them - pretty advanced in some cases.  Our house is full of obviously well-loved children’s books - fiction and reference.  It’s very clear the computer is used by them and they’re both articulate, friendly girls.  So it’s unlikely I’d have any trouble from them…we might even go some way to proving the worth of an autonomous lifestyle to a cynical HE inspector.  On the other hand, if we did have a home visit and the inspector started trying to ‘test’ Flopsy, I know it could put her right off learning.  But then it’s very easy to explain to Flopsy why things are happening so I’m sure she’d understand and try to ignore it.  Or the HV may not even comment on Flopsy being at home; or she may do and may have no problem at all with it.  Maybe I’m worrying about nothing.  I just like to have plans, that’s all.

2. Whether or not to have Cotton-tail weighed and/or measured.  With Flopsy and Mopsy I’ve had trouble with their size in one way or another.  I got told off at Flopsy’s 9m check for not giving her enough solids because she didn’t weigh enough.  The stupid HV didn’t even look at her, just at her weight chart!  I came away feeling very much like a crap mother despite knowing what I knew about bfing and about my daughter’s health.  Then they made a fuss about Mopsy’s 9m head circumference even though there was quite clearly an error when it was measured at 6w.  It was small at birth; large at 6w; and small at 9m again.  They wanted to measure it again a month later - I refused because of the upset I’d had with Flopsy and I just knew there was nothing wrong at all with Mopsy.  So…do I invite trouble by having her weighed/measured even though there is no need to do so?  She’s so advanced - walking with a trolley; standing alone for a few seconds; eating; growing; healthy; lovely - do I really need a HV to tell me she’s thriving?  Or will refusing to have her weighed at all put a black mark against my name?

3. Whether or not to just go with whatever she wants and wax lyrical about bringing up children autonomously in an attempt to broaden her mind (assuming it’s narrow to begin with, of course!).

Oh well, she may not come at all and all this worrying will be for nothing!  There are a few HVs in my area that I *wish* were mine, but they’re not.  And I don’t know what my current one is like.  I’ll keep you posted.