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August 27th, 2007 at 8:44 am
Well Flopsy would be off to school next week if we weren’t planning to HE. I can’t get rid of this niggling feeling that she’s going to be really missing out by not experiencing this huge part of our culture. So I’ve decided to do a quick pros and cons (for Flopsy) list to reassure myself we’re doing the right thing:
Pros of HEing:
- She can learn what and when and how she wants
- She can eat what and when and how she wants
- She can play what and when and how she wants
- She can go to the loo when she wants
- There’s less chance of being bullied
- She won’t get bored and get put off learning because of the teaching being tailored to a group rather than to her individually
- She won’t miss her sisters
- She can gain her independence in her own time when she feels ready
- She won’t be at risk of having bad teachers that will put her of learning
- She can learn about real life instead of about
- When she’s with her friends, she can spend the whole time playing if that’s what she wants
- She can be with her friends *and* with her family at the same time
Cons of HEing:
- She’ll miss out on the experience that nearly every other child in the country will have
- She won’t get to have that exciting ‘going back to school’ period with new school uniform and maths sets etc. - actually, that’s not true…we could easily do that for her if she wanted!
That’s it? Ok, we’ll stick with our original decision to HE 
Lovely list
There’s not necessarily anything marvellous about an experience just because everyone else has it.
I agree with you about the going back to school newness, but I bet you could find some way of honouring the rhythms of the year without it needing to involve schooliness. Maybe sometning Waldorf-y? I was recommended a book (which WASN’T The Circle Round, which did not suit me At All) but I can’t remember the title. I’ll get back to you… Anyway, you could plan yourself to do things marking autumn and halloween and bonfire night and advent and hanukkah and christmas and…
Comment by Emma • @ August 27, 2007 @ 1:53 pm
More pros:-
She can make mistakes, free from the fear of ridicule.
She can learn instead of being taught.
She can share her joy in learning with people who love her and whom she loves.
She can learn respect for others by being respected.
She will be nurtured and her individuality will be celebrated, instead of being depersonalised and encouraged to conform.
She will know the value of knowledge for its own sake and not for the sake of passing an exam.
She will flourish and you will be privileged to be alongside her.
Keep trusting your instincts.
xx
Comment by Sarah • @ August 27, 2007 @ 11:23 pm
I find it really interesting reading your thoughts about this ‘would be starting school time’. I didn’t have the niggles that you have, just a sense of excitement when dd’s peers went to school and when she finally reached ‘compulsary school age’ because passing these milestones meant that we were now ‘officially’ HEing yet in reality nothing actually changed.
Whilst I agree with all your pros, I disagree with both of your cons. Firstly, I agree with Emma that it isn’t a bad thing to miss an experience that everyone else is forced into experiencing. I think that alot of children go to school, and their parents send them, because they don’t know that they have a choice. If they did many of them would probably not choose this experience. Indeed, isn’t that why alot of us HE?
Secondly, for alot of children there isn’t an exciting ‘going back to school’ period. Personally, the end of August filled me with dread, I hated it. I didn’t even have a particulrly bad time at school yet I hated going back there. I hated new uniforms, especially the year they didn’t let girls wear trousers, I hated ugly, black school shoes etc. I could go on but I’ll stop now before my rant becomes longer than your original blog post! I didn’t realise that I felt so strongly about this!
Finally, I don’t think that you need to worry because you are definately doing the right thing for your girls. I agree with everything that Sarah (your Mum?) said too.
Comment by Katherine • @ August 28, 2007 @ 10:58 am
I’ve had one through the whole school system (recently graduated A levels and has been in Indonesia and India pretty much since) … so I know all the excitement you can feel about school culture as a parent. In reality, it ended up school tummy most of the time for my eldest daughter, but there were certainly good times. There was also a lot of missing or misguided education!
I had a 13 year gap, and my second daughter was intentionally home educated from about 2 (by that I mean that I spent some years preparing other people for the FACT that she would not be going … so they could get all their concerns sorted beforehand.) Her start date didn’t quite pass me by. I celebrated that she didn’t start.
With my third daughter, who has been unschooled since birth, I will probably fail to notice any start dates. I hardly can tell when it is the summer holidays and half term anyway. It’s just not really part of our calendar and September just doesn’t have the meaning it has for schooling families.
Now I am gestating my 4th child, and looking forward to relaxing in home ed with too many small kids to really interfere or plan anything, and just watching, in marvel, how my kids just seem to get to know stuff without any conscious effort on my part, or anyone else’s.
It just makes me see how much wasted effort goes into educating children, when they are just so much better at doing it themselves (when they live in a rich environment). I used to be a teacher, but am quite convinced now that working to introduce schooling in rural Africa (etc) is not so black-n-white a gift as it would seem! Wouldn’t it make sense to teach one person to read and leave the kids in their own rich, meaningful environments. Maybe the ability to read, itself, is a culturally perceived benefit.
Watching ‘Tribe’ the other day, I discovered that the folks he stayed with in Siberia (Reindeer herders who were often university educated, but chose to be reindeer herders on the Tundra) were obliged to send their children to boarding school for 6 months of the year! I also rub shoulders with Polish folk who think it is scandalous to not send you children to school, and for whom it is illegal (except they now live in the UK).
The whole journey is such an eye opener!
Comment by Sally • @ August 30, 2007 @ 2:53 pm
Neat list.
Comment by Leo • @ September 14, 2007 @ 8:39 pm