I know I’m probably an annoying, smug earth-mother, but I just can’t resist responding to this list of reasons why Corinne Maier can’t stand having children, even though she has two of her own.  I hope they’re not too upset by their mother’s extremely public admission!

Childbirth is torture - I think this may be the case for some women, but it is often down to the long-standing medicalisation of childbirth, where intervention and interference are the norm and frequently lead to more pain, and more intervention.  In general (in my experience and from talking to other mothers and reading others stories), as long as they’re uncomplicated, natural births, in natural positions, in one’s own surroundings are empowering, exciting and simply wonderful.  There are things mums-to-be can do to increase their chances of having (althought not guarantee) a positive experience of birth so I, personally, don’t think that it’s a reason not to have children.  Also, in the grand scheme of things, the birth part is only a minute portion of the whole exerience of mothering.

You will become a mobile feeding bottle - um…what?  I know some women can’t bear breastfeeding, but for others, again, it’s a wonderful, empowering experience.  Also, breastfeeding is so far from being just about how you feed your baby, it’s about nurturing, calming, loving…ok, won’t go on about it…you all know how I feel about breastfeeding.

You will struggle to continue having fun yourself  - depends what your idea of fun is!  I have loads of fun with my children - they’re hilarious and funny and great company.

You will lose touch with your friends  - nearly all my friends now I have made since having children and, with the exception of one or two, the friendships I’ve made through having children have been far deeper and stronger than any others I’ve had.

You will have to learn a language of idiots to communicate with your children - why?  Children aren’t idiots!

Your children will kill your desire - 1. Desire for what?  2. If that’s true, how come there are families with more than one child?

Children sound the death knell of the couple - sadly I guess this is the case for some, but for us (and for others I know) it’s made our coupleness even more wonderful than it was in the first place.

Having children is conformist - if you have children in order to conform, then yes it is. 

Children are expensive - yes and no…holidays are expensive, but that’s not a reason not to go on holiday.  Houses are expensive but we still buy them. 

You will be duped into thinking that there is such a thing as a perfect child - don’t really understand this one!

You will inevitably be disappointed by your own child - only if you start out with expectations as to how they will turn out and spend your life looking to the future instead of revelling in the present.

You will be expected to be a mother before you are a professional and a woman - I disagree with this.  I feel that I am viewed as a mother alongside my other roles as professional and woman apart from by my children, who need me to be a mother first and foremost while they are young.  I don’t think there’s anything degrading with being viewed as a mother anyway - being a mother is one of the most powerful things you can be.

Families are a nightmare - hmmm….or a dream come true?

Children will put the seal on your childhood dreams - unless your childhood dreams involve having children, of course ;-)  Besides, even if you have other childhood dreams, they can still be fulfilled, just a bit later on in life if they retain their importance through the experience of mothering.

You can’t stop yourself wanting complete happiness for your progeny - I don’t really understand why this is a reason not to have children?  Surely one wants complete happiness for everyone one loves…must be a reason not to love anyone too then!

Staying at home to look after children is breathtakingly dull - yes, it can be at times, but at other times it is exciting and fun and you get to witness the most wonderful discoveries and learning taking place.

You have to choose between motherhood and professional success - possibly.

When a child appears, the father disappears - sometimes, but certainly not always!  Many fathers are very, very involved in their children’s lives and some even choose to stay at home while the mother goes out to work.

There are already too many children on the planet. - possibly - not sure I know enough to argue with this point!

 Children are dangerous. They will take you to court without a second thought - only if you write books telling the world how much you don’t like them!

Ok, this woman dislikes being a mother intensely.  Ok, she’s brave enough to talk about it.  But why tell people not to have children because she didn’t like it?  It’s like telling someone not to eat their steak rare because you can’t stand it that way.  It’s like women who hate men indiscriminately because they’ve had bad experiences with boyfriends/husbands.  I hope Corinne one day finds something positive enough about mothering to change her view of it, and I am sad that she’s written a whole book devoted to her negative feelings about it.  I’m sad for her and I’m sad for her children and I’m sad for anyone who might decide not to have children based on her experience.  On the other hand, maybe anyone who would be put off having children by this list are better off not having them anyway!