Dh has seen a hedgehog in our garden while he’s been locking up before bed lately.  Tonight, Flopsy stayed up later than usual and the hedgehog appeared so Dh told her to come and look.  He was snuffling around quite happily (the hedgehog, that is…not Dh!).   Flopsy has just asked me to say “Tell them that hedgehogs eat raisins and weetabix and insects and slugs…that’s all”.  We found out that information at the British Hedgehog Preservation Society website which we looked up when Flopsy asked what they eat and what they do.  Well, what the website actually says is what they eat naturally, and what people can put out for hedgehogs to eat.   They also say that it’s not ‘our’ hedgehog as hedgehogs often like visiting lots of different gardens.   Flopsy’s now put out a plate of broken up weetabix and raisins but it hasn’t reappeared yet.  She’s named it Maddie and wants to make a home for it to hibernate in over the winter. 

Well Flopsy would be off to school next week if we weren’t planning to HE.  I can’t get rid of this niggling feeling that she’s going to be really missing out by not experiencing this huge part of our culture.  So I’ve decided to do a quick pros and cons (for Flopsy) list to reassure myself we’re doing the right thing:

Pros of HEing:

1. She can learn what and when and how she wants
2. She can eat what and when and how she wants
3. She can play what and when and how she wants
4. She can go to the loo when she wants
5. There’s less chance of being bullied
6. She won’t get bored and get put off learning because of the teaching being tailored to a group rather than to her individually
7. She won’t miss her sisters
8. She can gain her independence in her own time when she feels ready
9. She won’t be at risk of having bad teachers that will put her of learning
10. She can learn about real life instead of about
11. When she’s with her friends, she can spend the whole time playing if that’s what she wants
12. She can be with her friends *and* with her family at the same time

Cons of HEing:

1. She’ll miss out on the experience that nearly every other child in the country will have
2. She won’t get to have that exciting ‘going back to school’ period with new school uniform and maths sets etc. - actually, that’s not true…we could easily do that for her if she wanted!

That’s it?  Ok, we’ll stick with our original decision to HE

One day I’ll find the one I want to stick with!  The other one, which I did like, wasn’t showing up some of the links as the font colour was the same as the background!  Hope everyone can read this one ok

I know I’m probably an annoying, smug earth-mother, but I just can’t resist responding to this list of reasons why Corinne Maier can’t stand having children, even though she has two of her own.  I hope they’re not too upset by their mother’s extremely public admission!

Childbirth is torture - I think this may be the case for some women, but it is often down to the long-standing medicalisation of childbirth, where intervention and interference are the norm and frequently lead to more pain, and more intervention.  In general (in my experience and from talking to other mothers and reading others stories), as long as they’re uncomplicated, natural births, in natural positions, in one’s own surroundings are empowering, exciting and simply wonderful.  There are things mums-to-be can do to increase their chances of having (althought not guarantee) a positive experience of birth so I, personally, don’t think that it’s a reason not to have children.  Also, in the grand scheme of things, the birth part is only a minute portion of the whole exerience of mothering.

You will become a mobile feeding bottle - um…what?  I know some women can’t bear breastfeeding, but for others, again, it’s a wonderful, empowering experience.  Also, breastfeeding is so far from being just about how you feed your baby, it’s about nurturing, calming, loving…ok, won’t go on about it…you all know how I feel about breastfeeding.

You will struggle to continue having fun yourself  - depends what your idea of fun is!  I have loads of fun with my children - they’re hilarious and funny and great company.

You will lose touch with your friends  - nearly all my friends now I have made since having children and, with the exception of one or two, the friendships I’ve made through having children have been far deeper and stronger than any others I’ve had.

You will have to learn a language of idiots to communicate with your children - why?  Children aren’t idiots!

Your children will kill your desire - 1. Desire for what?  2. If that’s true, how come there are families with more than one child?

Children sound the death knell of the couple - sadly I guess this is the case for some, but for us (and for others I know) it’s made our coupleness even more wonderful than it was in the first place.

Having children is conformist - if you have children in order to conform, then yes it is. 

Children are expensive - yes and no…holidays are expensive, but that’s not a reason not to go on holiday.  Houses are expensive but we still buy them. 

You will be duped into thinking that there is such a thing as a perfect child - don’t really understand this one!

You will inevitably be disappointed by your own child - only if you start out with expectations as to how they will turn out and spend your life looking to the future instead of revelling in the present.

You will be expected to be a mother before you are a professional and a woman - I disagree with this.  I feel that I am viewed as a mother alongside my other roles as professional and woman apart from by my children, who need me to be a mother first and foremost while they are young.  I don’t think there’s anything degrading with being viewed as a mother anyway - being a mother is one of the most powerful things you can be.

Families are a nightmare - hmmm….or a dream come true?

Children will put the seal on your childhood dreams - unless your childhood dreams involve having children, of course ;-)  Besides, even if you have other childhood dreams, they can still be fulfilled, just a bit later on in life if they retain their importance through the experience of mothering.

You can’t stop yourself wanting complete happiness for your progeny - I don’t really understand why this is a reason not to have children?  Surely one wants complete happiness for everyone one loves…must be a reason not to love anyone too then!

Staying at home to look after children is breathtakingly dull - yes, it can be at times, but at other times it is exciting and fun and you get to witness the most wonderful discoveries and learning taking place.

You have to choose between motherhood and professional success - possibly.

When a child appears, the father disappears - sometimes, but certainly not always!  Many fathers are very, very involved in their children’s lives and some even choose to stay at home while the mother goes out to work.

There are already too many children on the planet. - possibly - not sure I know enough to argue with this point!

 Children are dangerous. They will take you to court without a second thought - only if you write books telling the world how much you don’t like them!

Ok, this woman dislikes being a mother intensely.  Ok, she’s brave enough to talk about it.  But why tell people not to have children because she didn’t like it?  It’s like telling someone not to eat their steak rare because you can’t stand it that way.  It’s like women who hate men indiscriminately because they’ve had bad experiences with boyfriends/husbands.  I hope Corinne one day finds something positive enough about mothering to change her view of it, and I am sad that she’s written a whole book devoted to her negative feelings about it.  I’m sad for her and I’m sad for her children and I’m sad for anyone who might decide not to have children based on her experience.  On the other hand, maybe anyone who would be put off having children by this list are better off not having them anyway!

I really, really love the old one, but a couple of people have emailed me saying they can’t read the text very easily so I’ve changed it.  Hopefully I’ll be able to change the text colour on the other theme one day and I’ll be able to go back to it.  Can people read this text ok?

The editor of Good Housekeeping magazine says this in her Sept 07 editorial:

“[my bra buying experience] came hot on the heels of a law being passed to protect breastfeeding mothers in England and Wales (Scotland has gone further: it is actually an offence there to ask a breastfeeding mother to stop).

I’d also read that the number of breast enhancement operations int he UK increased by 30% in the past year - and just as much among older, educated women as young wannabe Jordans.

Fertility symbol, baby nurturer, secondary sex characteristic, female shape enhancer - the female bosom seems to mean different things to different folks. I, for example, don’t really mind seeing women sunbathe topless on a Mediterranean beach, but I hate the same sort of thing on men’s magazine covers in my local shop. It seems to me that it’s all about context.

As I’ve formerly breastfed three babies, I might be expected to support the new law. But, on examination, I’m deeply ambivalent. Discreet, low-key feeding in a public place has always been tolerated, but in-your-face, milky-breast-baring is not the same thing at all. I don’t care how many women say they think it’s fine; we have to take on board that, because breasts are associated with sex, breastfeeding does make many men uncomfortable.

Agree? Disagree? I’d love to hear what you think. Let me know at

www.goodhousekeeping.co.uk“

 I have responded with this:

 ”Dear Louise

I am emailing in response to your September 2007 editorial, about the importance of protecting the right of women to breastfeed in public. Breastfeeding is an important issue not just because it’s the done thing to do, but because of its implications for individual mothers and their babies and its wider implications for society as a whole. Formula feeding increases the risk of so many short-term and long-term illlness to both babies and their mothers, that the impact on the health of our nation if all babies were breastfeed for as long as mothers and babies wanted to could be great. As many as 9 in 10 mothers who stop breastfeeding before 6 weeks did so sooner than they would have liked to. Some women stop breastfeeding because of the fear of doing so in public, and some women sadly do get harrassed for breastfeeding in public.

Our society is so used to formula feeding that breastfeeding is no longer considered normal and the impact of this formula feeding culture is that few mothers get the support they need to be able to continue breastfeeding for as long as they want. For this support to grow, breastfeeding needs to become a normal thing in our culture and that will only happen if more women do it, and if fewer breastfeeding mothers are sonervous of breastfeeding their babies when they need to (including in public) that they hide it from the world. The more breastfeeding is seen, the more it will be considered normal, the more women will succeed and the healthier our babies (and their mothers) will become.

For more information on the wider social and political importance of breastfeeding, may I suggest you read The Politics of Breastfeeding by Gabrielle Palmer?

With best wishes”

As I signed it as a Breastfeeding Counsellor, I didn’t want to fan the flames too much, but what I would like to have added is this:

“Besides, since when did men’s sensibilities become more important than the nutritional and emotional needs of a baby and his or her mother?  Why are you worried about how some poor little man feels just because he believes wrongly that breasts are primarily for sex and might get a bit upset seeing a baby using them for what they were designed for yet you’re not worried that the alternative would be a hungry, emotionally distressed baby and an upset, embarrassed mother?  Aren’t you getting your priorities mixed up here????”

  I get so tired of the ‘breastfeeding in public’ debate.  It’s just such a non-issue.  Baby cries, mother feeds it.  That’s all there is to it.  If you’re upset by it, then don’t look.  Simple!  Oh yes, and maybe go away and examine why you are feeling upset by it and deal with it…it’s not the mother’s problem!

Rant over…thank you!

I made myself a mei tai baby carrier the other day, and then a second one when my MIL gave me some Thai silk she’d been given.  The girls were so entranced by the sewing machine and all the sewing paraphernalia that I let them have a go at sewing some patterns on a spare piece of fabric.  They loved it and I suggested they make something, which they very eagerly agreed to.  We decided on bandanas, which I initially thought was a bit daft as hemming is so boring, and that’s all that’s required.  However, to those new to sewing, even boring straight lines of hemming is exciting so, in the end, they loved it.  They helped me pin and then we sewed together, with them controlling the needle and me controlling the fabric.  Flopsy took to an even pedal pressure very quickly but Mopsy took a bit of experimenting before she got the hang of not doing desperately fast or nothing at all!  But by the end she was sewing like a pro!  It was really fun and we all enjoyed it.  I’m thinking of suggesting they make simple bags next, if they express any more interest. 

Sorry that people are having trouble posting comments.  I’m trying to sort it out.

Edited to add:  It’s now fixed :-)  Thanks Andrea and Ron.

Today I took photos for a ‘this is what we did today’ post, but when I uploaded them, realised that there were loads of other such similar photos that I’d never blogged.  So here they are!  It looks a bit like ‘look what a wonderful Mummy I am for doing so many activities with my children’ but it really is over a period of time and I’m not about to start taking photos of the times I’m not being such a good Mummy LOL!

Blow-painting, as inspired by Doodle Do (as is a lot of the craft stuff we do - it’s our favourite programme):

Cotton-tail’s first food:

Baking (oh, I am so motherly  ):

This is the girls doing footprint painting a while ago.  It was good fun and I can’t believe I managed to contain the mess, but somehow I did!  The results are on our living room wall :

Jumping for joy at the excitement of being allowed to do something they’d been going on at me about for ever!  (Oh yes, and in pyjamas as well - I think we were having a pyjama day that day)

My preparations for cleaning feet afterwards

Contemplating the paint!

And this is the tea party I discovered them having after I cleaned the kitchen up

Sorry to brag, but my children are seriously gorgeous!  I shall keep the link to this post handy and look at it every time they’re driving me potty to remind me why I love them

I like their old pseudonyms too much!  I’ll just have to hope that I don’t get discovered ;-)  I was going to post photos anyway, which would totally give the game away.